ive made a decision...or a realization.. or something between the two: i need to get back to some proverbial "roots" of mine. namely,
feminism, or the lack there of, or the abundance of, or confusion of, the acceptance of, the denial of, the exploration of, the
love of..
ok, i
really hate when women begin a sentence with
" i mean im not a feminist but.....".
like what the
fuck is wrong with being a feminist? and what the fuck are you afraid of by identifying yourself as such? it happens to be one of my favorite topics in this world, although not always one of my favorite to talk about.. and we all know (haha all six of you now) that i like to talk. perhaps the fact that i
dont like to talk about it makes me a hypocrite for hating dumb/ignorant women/people who shy away from being identified as a feminist..i think though that i just dont really like arguing or discussing things that are really important or valuable or personal to me because i dont want to put it out there for some asshole who has the opposite view as me or has good debate skills to try and tear down
my beliefs.
i feel what i feel i know what i know and i see what i see. blah blah blah.so without further adieu, here i go with some good ole' dio of the mouth..er, fingers. or whatever.
"When she stopped chasing the dangling carrot of conventional femininity, she was finally able to Savour being a woman."
but i do feel like i am sort of paving my own path out here.. since all my friends are in relationships and whatnot i feel like im on my own in a lot of ways. i cant really compare my behavior to those of my peers. so like in terms of science, whats the
control and whats the
variable here? (or does that bullshit go out the fucking window because we arent in LAB COATS around here?)
sometimes im like is this ok? was that ok? is this normal? should i not have banged that dude? but i wanted to. would you have? wait, do i care? did i have fun? yes. do i love myself? yes. am i safe and good to my body? yes. am i happy? yes. so fuck off.
another thing i
really cant fucking stand is when i hear a woman call another woman a whore or a slut. now maybe im more sensitive to this because i know what its like to have people call you these names. (i mean as a young girl too! who the FUCK is a whore in middle school? not me! i know this much is true!!! and ok i know exceptions can be made to these allegations, because if some dumb girl bangs or tries to bang your boyfriend, which trust me ive been there too, you want to call her a whore.... but for all intents and purposes.....lets keep it real, this shit is bunk lets grow the fuck up and stop hating...)
this is sasha grey. shes 22. shes a porn star. and i think shes kinda rad. i dont judge her or her vagina.
this woman is in the shadow AND in the light ..she is poised and bold and shy. this is the weight we have to carry: to be all of these things and to do it well and with a fucking smile so as to avoid judgement. to be the madonna and the whore! what a treat!
(she is so obviously the fucking bomb)hey guess what? the truth is messy
and lovely! i like the door held for me AND i like to have sex and i like to wear lipstick and i like to be treated like a l-a-d-y, like a woman and i also like to get the door myself thank you very much and i
hate when strangers at the gas station call me "baby" or when i can feel unrelenting eyes on my ass. im a good driver and i dont need attention . im not jealous but i can be insecure. i cant wear heels so i hate them but i wish i could! i like easy e as much as i like ani difranco. im a walking contrafuckingdiction and im not really sorry about it. in fact thank god i can be all of these things and love myself and be loved at the same time. i wouldnt trade all my monday morning stories for a sunday couch companion (even if i do get lonely on those sundays sometimes.) i am real and i am raw. and thats all i know.
"one day i wont be judged by the length of my legs!"
