Donde Esta la Playa de Nudista?

Picture this. Only instead of Scarlet Johansson, it's gonna be yours truly.

13 more days!!!! Wahooo!

I'm gonna be jobless and homeless in 13 days and I can't fucking wait!

An Ode to LL

GIRL let me assure you, LL is still fine as he wanna be!
I see him at work sometimes. I wave. He smiles. The other day I saw him grab his nuts while standing in the doorway of his trailer....he was listening to Motown. My heart melted a little. I imagined that I auditioned for this video, and then we slow motion danced in a club and everyone was oily. It could happen. Anything is possible. Dreams come true. I mean, I can walk with a switch and talk with street slang. He love it when a woman ain't scared to do her thang. Standing at the bus stop suckin on a lollipop, once she gets pumpin it's hard to make the hottie stop.


She likes to dance to the rap jam, sweet as brown sugar with the candied yams.


Honey coated complexion, using Camay (WTF is Camay? I wikipedia'd it...it's a sexy soap!)
Let's hear for my girl she's from around the way!

I'm Pro Choice: TGIF MOTHER FUCKERS!

well well well....here i am. friday night. pj's on. vino poured. an abundance of nicorette. and good-old-reliable-always-there-for-me-in-a-pinch-shit-tv. (wife swap to be exact.. one small but perfect example of whats wrong with people) oh. my. lord. BUT im pretty much in my glory. i am. i know... but its true. so what? who cares? anywho....

19 days until i leave for spain people. 19 days until i get on that large metal tube that will take me to another world. i cant fucking WAIT! that was a very important choice for me to make......going to spain. just fucking deciding to DO IT!!!!

so ive been thinking about choice and decisions and really just change lately as i often do. there's the one kind that happens to us and we cant control it or help it. it just happens. kind of like rain or an earthquake or the price of gas or diarrhea. you gotta just deal, ya know? then there is the kind that YOU create. that we can decide for ourselves. that we make for ourselves when we feel like its time to move on or shake things up or devise a challenge, etc.

right now i have both of these wonderful phenomenons going on. on one hand, the empowerment of creating my own destiny and taking my life by the balls, and on the other the kind where i fear that i wont make it home fast enough to get to the bathroom. ya dig?

ive made the decision to finally move out of the apartment ive lived in for the past year and a half. i may be poor, but at least ill have my own space. this decision had to be made. it was a quality of life issue. (YYEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!) i wonder what other kinds of changes will happen now that i made this one of my own volition?

things are also changing with my social life. ("hahaha!! social life? nice try loser you dont have one of those!!!!") even though some of it wasnt my choice per se, im ok with it.
kinda like when youre about to drop something and you try to catch it and you see it happening but its like slow motion and youre all "oohhhhhh nnnooooooo!!!!! fuuudggeeeee!!!".? well thats kinda how this went. it happened and there was nothing i could do about it. seeing as how things havent "blown over" yet..and i am starting to see that it wont....im just gonna roll with it and accept it and trust that "it will all work out in the end." in fact, i wonder what other kinds of changes will follow now that this one took place?
exciting isnt it?

in other news:



when i was 5 my whole family went to see Bruce Springsteen on his Tunnel of Love tour. i was so excited to go to my very first concert!!!! i knew all the words to the tape-side A and B. well when the big night came, what they do but drop me off at the Miller's house and pick me up looong after i had fallen asleep on the top bunk. i had no choice in the matter. the good news is, they but brought me back a grey Springsteen shirt which i still wear to bed to this day.




thats kind of what happened to me with my roommate this week. i wanted to go see Hole at the Fonda. badly. it was sold out. she went. and brought me back a tshirt. im wearing to bed tonight. sigh.


Cheers to everyone for making a hard decision! for having no control over certain matters of your life but rolling with it anyway! for realizing that you have no control over most matters in fact! cheers to Bruce Springsteen! cheers to Hole! cheers to Jamie Oliver for caring about fat kids! ( thats the shit tv thats now on as i type this) and cheers to choice! by the way i really am pro choice. very much so. and again, TGIFMF!

What's That Old Adage...?

Some of these wonderful adages, phrases, proverbs, quotations, whatever, sure have been blasting themselves into my life these past few weeks. let's see here......

Numero Uno-"Look Before You Leap"



Numero Dos-"Loose Lips Sink Ships"
Quoting peoples from my work

NOTE #1: we were originally using this one to reference the latest array of mistresses, porn stars, and other lovely ladies in the business of "homewrecking" or "getting laid" then selling their stories..get it? loose lips? awwww.)

Let this be a friendly reminder to you and lesson learned by me... it doesnt matter your intentions, your perspective, your audience, if what youre saying is true or false.. what you really need to know is when to keep your mouth shut. even among the dearest of friends.


when this fails, see this old gem used often by my mom:"Least Said, Soonest Mended."


Numero Tres-"Life's a Bowl of Berries"

(......or wait, is that cherries? whateves. same fruit family)



Numero Cuatro-"Don't Throw the Baby Out with the Bath Water"
Quoting my moms again:

ive been known on occasion to go overboard with speculative "what ifs" when things are in transition or turmoil or go to south or go to shit. and south and shit it went with a recent turn of events. during this time, i found myself, for a brief moment, questioning my whole world. like what would i do if this group of ours dis-integrated? we are all so close! arent we? this cant happen! they are like my family! what will i do? where will i go? and why do i live here? why am i working this job? what is it that i really want to do with my life? shouldnt i be traveling to africa and helping orphaned babies with HIV?!? but how will i survive out there? how will i make money? i cant leave what i started here! but cant i? what should i do? where should i go? why is the sky blue? why? why? why? (you get the point.)
Susan told me not to "throw the baby out with the bathwater...." not to throw out the good with the bad....and i choose to listen to what she tells me more often than not.

NOTE #2: "Don't Put The Cart Before the Horse" is also applicable in this scenario.


Numero Cinco-"You Win Some You Lose Some"/"There Are Many Fish in the Sea"/"Fuck It, He Probably Sucks in the Sack"
Quoting a true champ--myself:

if you just so happen to learn that your pretend boyfriend just so happens to live with his not pretend girlfriend, (who is probably a tri-lingual model) try not to sweat it or take it personally. people are cute and youll have crushes on them. big deal. its not the end of the world....and sometimes these things are just best left to the imagination.....(i mean..i guess...right?....)


Numero Seis-"Lambs Go To Slaughter, Men Know When to Walk Away"
Quoting "the Greek"--from my latest obsession, HBO's The Wire:

OH MY GOD THIS SHOW IS SO LEGIT!!!!!!! Bidness... Always bidness. muh fucka don't be messin 'round wit no eastside niggas bes he get got. nah mean? Omah comin! ...

This show has somewhat influenced my vernacular AND i am now a part of the secret club of "Those That Have Watched The Wire."

NOTE #3: "Those That Have Watched The Wire" is not a commonly used adage even though it textually appears as the other examples i have used.


Numero Siete-"Blondes Have More Fun"


***A Bonus and maybe my favorite:

Youth is Wasted on the Young.

quoting george bernard shaw. but also probably an older woman with pearls and an accent. or an old man in a hospital bed.

i used to think this was too.. cynical. and maybe it is. but i still like it.

Im gonna get a new camera before Espana. I decided that today. I give myself permission to treat myself because i work hard and i deserve it. The End.