"Girl From the North Country"

"Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
if it rolls and flows all down her breast.
Please see for me if her hair hangs long,
that's the way I remember her best."

and now im tired and a tad tipsy and wont let myself go to sleep. got some music on.. drinkin vino..cleaning my room. kinda reminds me of when i was in high school and i would listen to bob dylan and fold my sweaters and paint on my wall and write in my journal and wonder what the fuck i was doing with myself. mostly i enjoyed that feeling because i thought i was on the brink of something huge.. i had no concept of consequence..hurt, yes..conseQUENCE, no..not yet.

but tonight.... im a little older.. and maybe not much wiser... but i still love the solitude of my bedroom.. and the space.. and the satisfaction of adding a new piece of something lovely to look at on my wall. or rediscover a song that speaks to me... im wearing a tank top and have the space heater on..contemplating getting a pack of smokes. i put on red lipstick just for fun. im listening to my morning jacket. an album of theirs that i have had for years but never gave a fair shot.


tomorrow: going running, getting food for thanksgiving, maybe some laundry if im feeling fancy....ill make a pumpkin cheesecake.... probably contemplate my life again and probably send out a drunk dial that i cant help myself from sending. damn you drunk dials and texts. you always get the best of me.

Bruce Lee, Ph D.

"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless."

I could burst a million bubbles
All surrogate and bullet proof


"..a dreamer of pictures, I run in the night. You see us together, chasing the moonlight, My cinnamon girl.."

"I have a message for Germany--That you are all going to die!"

Au Revoir Shosanna!

"I'm so tired..i cant sleeeeeeep"

well this hasnt happened in a minute!

i am bombarded by things tonight! in my head.. can't get to sleeeeeep

memories.. old .. and relatively recent..

it is misplaced grief?
old jealousies..insecurities. i thought you had vanished! gone with the wind.

there is excitement.. and fear. and fleetingness... rejection and misunderstanding. guessing whats real.

music. aahh music.

"Don't let it bring you down, it's only castles burning...just find someone who's turning, and you will come around....."

old times/new times/new haphazard chance engrained events flesh tearing rolling rock bushes nuclear backyards carry me ohio crooked teeth crooked vultures loud ass pennyroyal tea carlo rossie rhine drinking romp rolling tall ass grass no one ever cut drop D bad ass drummers paparazzi spitting on him calling you a liar how do i do this how do i go on feeling sexy feeling fine mister lady youre overreacting youre underadmired youre overratted youre overwhelmed youre underappreciated youre a diamond in the sky oooooooh yoooooko birthday cards and stickie notes chapped lips and silly photos marilyn monroe androgeny how did i ever end up here this number this plane this longitude i long for you call waiting roll call.....i just want to breathe it in all at once to be afraid to be alone i can do it i cant do it wholehearted lovey dove see a show braid your hair take a picture kiss my cheek paint a portrait have some water thanks i will take my time take my heart take my shit what else have i got for you you need this you need that its the cover of the new yorker the foreman the laborman the layman which are you i am none my skin is dry my nails are bitten my eyes are red my fingers smell like burnt popcorn lemon verbena not to take it away not even your lonely dont take it personally keep your head up pennyroyal sting the tongue tea

"Once in a Lifetime....."

(Dedicated to gas stations, Waltzing Matilda...to fragile bracelets and the Observatory)

you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
you may find yourself in another part of the world
you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
you may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
you may ask yourself, well, how did i get here?

you may ask yourself, how do i work this?
you may ask yourself, where is that large automobile?
you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house!
you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife!

you may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house?
you may ask yourself, where does that highway lead to?
you may ask yourself, am i right? am i wrong?
you may say to yourself, my god, what have i done?

time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
time isn't holding us, time doesn't hold you back
time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
time isn't holding us....

(.same as it ever was..)

oh, oh and Happy Birthday SND!!!!

"Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens"

Lady and Gentleman~I now present to you a few of my favorite things:

Cant wait for Koo:De:Lah to make her debut at Unique LA December 5th & 6th
(No biggie..it's only THE largest independent design show on the West Coast)
These jewelry designs are getting more intricate and more beautiful with every step. And guess who rocks the prototypes? Hey-ooh!

I'm only on chapter 4 but so far it's everything i love in a book.

Try this with some little vanilla soy milk. Socks WILL be knocked off.

My mom gave me these as a birthday gift. I mix vanilla and grapefruit. YESSS!

look...i know....he's 17.

But come on now..


These are made by an artist named Ty Williams. I am loving his shit!

I saw this band the other night and think they are worth a listen. ill post the video to the song ive had on repeat. xo

"...I'm still an Animal"

YES! Today is good.




Not only am i grateful for the love and support and company of my friends but i am thankful for my job and the opportunities and lessons (and paychecks) it is giving me.
I really feel like I'm hitting some sort of stride here...
Additionally, now that the anticipation of certain events has come to pass... to my surprise! I am ok!... In fact I'm better than ok..... (Now I dont want to be premature in this assessment....but.... I really think it's safe to say!) I'm over it.



In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody i knew before long long long ago
But I'm still trying to make my mind up
Am I free or am I tied up

I change shapes just to hide in this place
but I'm still, I'm still an animal
Nobody knows it but me when i slip yeah i slip I'm still an animal

In your eyes I see the eyes of somebody of who could be strong
Tell me if I'm wrong
And now I'm pulling your disguise up
Are you free or are you tied up


i'm lovin this song right now as i can see parts of myself in these lyrics....as someone who goes back and forth between where they are and who they are.... who reflects on what they once wanted and what they may want now.... how they may change from time to time but ultimately can't help but be who they are and feel what they feel...when they make mistakes or fuck up they are forced to be honest......
It reminds me that although at times it may seem like things are stagnant or slow or stifling, what ultimately ties you down is none other than yourself.


Here.. have yourself a little listen...