{Please Enjoy the Following
Scenes From a Life Not Yet Realized:}
Conversations With & Directions From Mythical Creatures.
Onward bound inward found with Sangria in the hills, gypsies in the cave, dancing in the streets, flamenco in their throats..
swaggers and strolls, late night drunken conversations.
entiendo:i understand .
croquettas. copas. quaint hostels.
initial mild frustrations--that impervious air!
Depending on the direction it faced, it was able to both attract and repel. like a magnet like a compass...quicksand at once, then a wind tunnel of space and privacy!
one teensy weensy aside-----
"You had to come to Madrid to find your Unicorn!"
(oh? HA! well fah-q very much! )
um excuse me but but but i remember that one night and shouldnt it mean something!?!? (oh sure sure) i remember the wanty wanty the never getty getty and doesnt that mean something!? (perhaps. maybe not what you think, though. patience young thing.)
He had a propensity toward exclusivity, toward coldness even. Able to stop, go, let in, push away, with total control and free will. Holding my hand as he slept, and only then, as if the subconscious could somehow soften this propensity.his thin fingers offering up a rare gift.
"My Time," he said, slapping his hand on his bare chest as he lay six feet away from me. "This is MY time."
Perhaps I admired his ability to maintain control, was maybe even jealous with the pride he took in his solo adventure. Why couldn't I be so bold, so righteous with a desire to be of only ONE mind and ONE heart?
Instead, I sadly longed for something warmer.
well? what the fuck happens???
Oh. No. I'm sorry to disappoint you...but the answer was always known. She did not get her Unicorn. This is the way of things. But at least, if for a moment, that elusive "unicorno" gingerly ate from her hand.
Ah ha! Brief entry into those private chambers!
And now i offer entry into my own chambers. MI DIARIO.ooh lala
DONDE ESTA MI GLORIA? Where is my heaven? Where is my bliss? what of My partner in crime?
{"Of course you'll find love! You're a lover.."}
You know how some people have a void inside of them? I have the opposite. It's a heavy aching pulsing alien life form inside me that i want to feed and share and show.. she waxes and wanes. she waits......
its gravity. its GOD. its life. she knows this. she lives this. she IS this. she LOVEs everything. people penis lips kissing drinking thinking i mean really. QUE RICO. she loves she loves she wants. she wants to be loved. she wants to be someones doll. someones star. she wants to be ADORED because she ADORES.
Is an aching heart my destiny? Is this my intuition or my fear that whispers "This is your fate." ?? Please baby jesus jah jehovah buddah dont let this be my reality. what a quiet tragic waste it would be.
Quiet. for now. breathe. and be there my friend. all of you and your little thoughts, you.
oh how you'll thank me later. wink. smile. nod. entiendes?
Entiendo.
She is learning follow the Compass of the Heart. La brujula del corazon.
