I love horses. I always have and I know I always will. To me, there is just a better view of the world when you're sitting on the back of a horse..
Being around horses can soothe and calm me, almost put me in a trance..it is also somehow bittersweet and sad for me in many ways. I was always close, yet so far away from them....The memories of horses I have from my childhood evoke both a sense of innocence and loss that has taken me some time to understand...
The first horse to be an actual member of our family was left to us in His Last Will and Testament. I was excited. I was heartbroken. He was our friend. He committed suicide. Confusion takes it's forms when you are 6.
"Childhood living, is easy to do...the things you wanted.. I bought them for you...."
Oh how they smell of sweet summer and sawdust! The way their coarse mane can capture the warmth of the sunlight in them so that when you bury your face in it, you are almost a part of them..the sounds of the swish in their tales and the chomping on hay...the slow rhythm of the clip, clop, clip, clop of their gate..LOVE I tell you. I LOVEd them...
And boy, there wasn't anything in this world I wanted more than a horse of my own. I read books about horses, had calendars of horses, drew pictures of them, dreamed of riding horses, did reports in school about horses, pretended I was a horse as I played in my backyard..
I watched with longing as my sister rode them, loved them, had them in the palm of her hand.
"The squeaky wheel gets the grease," my mom told me. She had trouble in school and trouble out of school. Trouble followed her like a shadow but faded when she was around horses. "Your sister needs this and we can barely afford it for one for her as it is......"
So in those days I took what I could get. I used a little ingenuity and thrift as I ran around the barn waiting to be offered a ride, a couple of hours with someone elses horse..anything! I would get on any horse someone put in front of me. I trusted these Beasts completely.
So yes sometimes it was my turn.....But when I rode them it was never often enough..If I had them in the palm of my hand, it was never for long enough. I was always left feeling unsatiated and wanting more. Time changes these things. It heals. It is never enough.
I loved, I longed..I had, I never had...It hurt, it felt good..Such contradictions....
"Wild horses...we'll ride them someday.."
Contradictorious!! (It's a word. It's a noun..I swear)
POR EJEMPLO:
Being around horses can soothe and calm me, almost put me in a trance..it is also somehow bittersweet and sad for me in many ways. I was always close, yet so far away from them....The memories of horses I have from my childhood evoke both a sense of innocence and loss that has taken me some time to understand...
The first horse to be an actual member of our family was left to us in His Last Will and Testament. I was excited. I was heartbroken. He was our friend. He committed suicide. Confusion takes it's forms when you are 6.
"Childhood living, is easy to do...the things you wanted.. I bought them for you...."
Oh how they smell of sweet summer and sawdust! The way their coarse mane can capture the warmth of the sunlight in them so that when you bury your face in it, you are almost a part of them..the sounds of the swish in their tales and the chomping on hay...the slow rhythm of the clip, clop, clip, clop of their gate..LOVE I tell you. I LOVEd them...
And boy, there wasn't anything in this world I wanted more than a horse of my own. I read books about horses, had calendars of horses, drew pictures of them, dreamed of riding horses, did reports in school about horses, pretended I was a horse as I played in my backyard..
I watched with longing as my sister rode them, loved them, had them in the palm of her hand.
"The squeaky wheel gets the grease," my mom told me. She had trouble in school and trouble out of school. Trouble followed her like a shadow but faded when she was around horses. "Your sister needs this and we can barely afford it for one for her as it is......"
So in those days I took what I could get. I used a little ingenuity and thrift as I ran around the barn waiting to be offered a ride, a couple of hours with someone elses horse..anything! I would get on any horse someone put in front of me. I trusted these Beasts completely.
So yes sometimes it was my turn.....But when I rode them it was never often enough..If I had them in the palm of my hand, it was never for long enough. I was always left feeling unsatiated and wanting more. Time changes these things. It heals. It is never enough.
I loved, I longed..I had, I never had...It hurt, it felt good..Such contradictions....
"Wild horses...we'll ride them someday.."
Contradictorious!! (It's a word. It's a noun..I swear)
POR EJEMPLO:
Patient. beautiful..
Feminine...
Masculine..
Wild and free..
Wild and FUCKING and free, man!
Fierce. powerful
Heroic..loyal.gentle
Sexy..
Achingly dear..
fantastical..memory.magic
alright alright..maybe that was a little too too for you?.
Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Here's a tune off the 1975 debut album from Patti Smith called "Horses."
She's a total bad ass...and also somewhat of a contradictory artist if you ask me......wahooooiee!!
