I met her in the 7th grade. I was 12.. She seemed light years beyond the rest of us; already 13 for a month when school began. Right away, I noticed her in class. Eyeliner, high ponytail, a striking profile. I wanted to be her friend. "So you're from Poland?" she asked. "No, Boulan," I corrected.."It's a school."
Time passed, school bells rang, she had the most tardies......we were growing up. Always the most kind, always the littlest, our middle ground, the solid friend, the go-to........
In high school she met a boy. After school she would drive past him on his bike, she was light years beyond him, 16 before any of us... They liked each other. They loved each other. They hated each other. They loved each other. They missed each other. They infuriated each other. They hurt each other. They needed each other. They loved each other. They sacrificed for each other... And this continued in a dance, in a spiral, in a tornado, in a dream for years. They left each other. They returned to each other.
To say that she's simply my best friend doesn't explain it enough. She is the best version of me, she is giving, devoted, she is fiercely loyal...Knows who she is and what she believes in. She is hilarious, goofy, diplomatic, voluptuous, tiny, stubborn, fantastic.
And now, she is simply not happy. In fact, to say that doesn't explain it enough. She has been waiting......patiently...and hurting and is frustrated..Something is missing from her heart. What is it? Where is it? When? When is it coming? Where will I find it? She has sacrificed and worked and dreamed and waited. She still waits.
She loves her Grandfather in a way that I admire and will never know what is like for myself .. She misses her Grandmother with sense of calm acceptance, one component to her void.
Lately she remembers the days before, when she was light years beyond us and them, when she was happy and free..sure of herself...calm and content. ..If her memory serves her well, she may think of this:
Oh the infamous July 2007.
..we were like "this.."
While she lived in this room, which was actually my closet, we had a ball! There wasn't much actual sleeping going on that summer..
but there was a little of this...
and a little of that...well a LOT of that..
we flourished in each others strength and joy.
But July 2007 was long ago. And I am not there with her anymore.
My dear wonderful friend needs to be reminded that while those times have come and gone and will not return, there is still more joy to be had. More dances. More love. There is May 2010 to be had. August 2012 awaits!! . She has a past full of lovely, fun and faded memories, but she has a future which is golden and unlimited and boundless so long as she knows es la verdad. I wish i could be there i wish i could fix what ails her, i want to help her figure out whats missing....i think now though that she should be reminded that "it" is coming..Whatever it may be.. it's on the horizon, it's on the way, it's getting ever so closer to her right this very second.
I know in my heart when she gets whatever it is she is waiting for, it will be a long time coming. It will be worth her struggle. And it would have had to travel light years to reach her.
"Go on and let the rain pour, I'll be all you need and more..."
Tienes que tener fe...
