"Mmmm... Cherry Wine..."

The year was 1986. I had recently discovered Wet 'N Wild lipstick (for both lips and cheeks), played with my Barbies in the bathtub, dressed up as and pretended to be She-Ra, and ate Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup almost on the daily.

I was four. I was cool. I was in my glory.

The song "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" was #5 on the charts and #1 in my heart.

While I thought it was obvious that you didn't have to take your clothes off to have a good time, (unless it meant taking them off to get into the tub to play with Barbies, or taking them off to get into She-Ra attire) I did develop a hankering for this mysterious "Cherry Wine."

It sounded delicious!

Twenty four years later I decided to YouTube this little jammer.

Aaaannd... WTF?

I could NOT believe my eyes...You mean to tell me ...

That the singer...

This whole time...

Was...

A DUDE??!?!?!?!?!?!